In the Dark
by RadiantBeam
Summary: Ichigo is not stupid. Perhaps that is how he knows that Rukia has loved before, without fully understanding why he knows... or why he cares. [Ichigo x Rukia][Oneshot]


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach. This story is for fan enjoyment only.

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**In the Dark**

He knows without fully understanding why.

He is not stupid. Ichigo is many things, he'll admit—short-tempered, determined—_thickheaded _is Rukia's favorite term. But he is not stupid.

Perhaps that is why he knows that Rukia has loved before, without fully understanding how or why he knows.

He doesn't even know how he decided this in the first place; trying to figure out Rukia is like taking a few minutes out of your day to smash your head against a brick wall just to see if you can break through, even though you know it is impossible.

Perhaps he's figured it out because he's the kind of guy who's stubborn enough to smash said brick wall until it finally breaks. Or maybe he just knows Rukia better than he thinks.

It's the little things he sees; the way she bites her bottom lip just a bit when he teases her about another nightmare and calls her a kid (_not to mock her, never to mock her, just to get that fire back in her eyes, that fight, have her claw back when she looks so defeated_). The way her eyes narrow just a bit when he challenges what she tells him, just so he can hear her reply in an equally snippy tone.

Or perhaps he realizes it the one night he can't sleep and he hears soft sobs, muffled by the closet door, but he hears them nonetheless. The sound of her weeping (_why is she crying? Why? He has never heard her cry before, does she even know she's crying or is she sleeping and crying?_) makes his skin tingle and causes a painful tightening in his chest, but he ignores it and stares determinedly at the ceiling.

If she wanted his comfort, she would either come to him or ask him to come to her. He knows she will do neither; she is too proud.

Because he values his life (_and respects her, dammit, it's almost impossible not to respect her after knowing her for so long_), he does not go to her.

He doesn't know how tears should sound, the tears you shed when you lose one you loved, but the feeling tells him she has loved before, and he accepts it and listens until her sobs gradually fade.

Ichigo knows better then to ask Rukia if she has loved before, so he keeps this to himself. He knows she will tell him when she's ready (_or when she wants to_).

A week passes and he begins to believe perhaps he just imagined it, the feeling, the sound of her sobs. It is easy to believe, somewhat of a relief.

And then, one night, he hears her again.

He kind of knew it might happen, as he heard her tossing and turning before the tears began flowing (_a nightmare, she was having a nightmare_). Despite the familiar burning and tightening in his chest, the instinctive urge to protect, he doesn't rise.

He tells himself what happens is her choice. She is small but strong; she will come to him. If he went to her, he'd probably get a fist in his face for his efforts, so he turns onto his side with his back to the closet door.

He wonders who the guy was, what his name was, what he did that hurt her so bad.

Then he hears the soft sound of his closet door sliding open.

His heart rate hitches, jumps a bit before calming; he sits up and turns to face her.

She is standing in the doorway, looking incredibly smaller then usual for some reason, her head bowed and her arms wrapped tightly around her stomach in a gesture that is both defiant and vulnerable. In the dim light he can see the brief flash of violet as she lifts her eyes to his; he does not see the streak of tears, but he knows they are there.

"Ichigo?"

Dammit, she has no right to sound like that: so small, so helpless, so _lost_, and in his head he quietly curses both the nightmare that woke her and the man that caused the nightmare. He sighs, accepting. "Come here, Rukia."

There is no fight in her, as she walks quietly across the floor and slides next to him on the bed as he rolls back to his side, his back pointedly to her, forcing his mind blank (_she came for comfort, for comfort only, don't think about anything else!_).

But then he feels her curl against him, and his resolve cracks and crumbles to pieces. He swears softly under his breath before turning back over. "I'm not gonna bite."

"I wasn't…"

"Just shut up and get some sleep."

She huffs at this, but regardless rests her head on his shoulder, and is asleep in minutes, in the way only she can be, her hand fisting lightly over his heart. He keeps an arm around her so she won't roll off the bed, gently stroking her hair.

He knows she has loved before. He wonders what happened to the man she loved that hurt her so badly.

He knows she will tell him, when she is ready. For now he lays awake and still, listening to her soft, quiet breathing, the steady thump of her heart matching his.

He wonders if she could ever possibly love again.

**The End**

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So.. my first attempt not only at Bleach, but at IchigoxRukia.

I fell in love with Bleach quite recently, so I've been playing catch-up by watching episodes on Youtube/Adult Swim and today I bought the first two manga volumes at Barnes & Noble. The fact that Rukia had loved before was something I learned from both friends who watch the show and fanfiction that referenced it. A chapter fic might be in the future once I know enough...

I am aware that both Ichigo and Rukia are slightly OOC...

Read and reivew, please! Constructive critisim is welcomed and worshipped!


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